Cranky Mom Day

Today was what one might call a 'cranky" mom day. It was one of those days where you have a lot to get done and your kids are being less than cooperative and you are on edge so you tend to snap at them. Melody wasn't even doing anything all that terrible and I feel like all I did today was snap at her. To be honest I think most of it was probably her just trying to get me to pay a little bit more attention to her. It all started with the ants. It is summer in very hot Southern California and so no matter what you do you are going to end up getting some ants in your house. Well Melody hates bugs! Every time she sees one she cowers away from it and says as quietly as possible "scared, bug," then comes looking for mommy to come take care of the bug. Needless to say I was coming to rescue her from the ants all day! We've tried to tell her a million times that the ants won't hurt her and to just leave them alone but it doesn't make any difference. Later in the day she climbed on the coffee table which she knows she is not supposed to do and has only ever done one other time. Then she decided she wanted to give mommy a fashion show with all the clothes I had just finished folding and were sitting on the couch. Then at dinner she dumped salt all over the table. Then in the bathtub she kept leaning over the edge while I was rinsing her hair getting water all over the floor. In retrospect all of these tiny little things are nothing compared to what I know toddlers are capable of, but I still found myself snapping at her. It seemed to be my gut reaction to everything all day and after I would do it I would feel so bad especially since 90% of the time Melody would start crying. I am usually much more patient than I was today and I really can't figure out why I was so cranky. By the end of the day I was feeling terrible. She is so innocent and certainly did not deserve to be at the receiving end of my own crankiness. As I was reading her bedtime story to her I broke down and cried and told her how sorry I was for how cranky I had been today and that I loved her very much and promised that tomorrow would be a better day. I wasn't really sure if she would comprehend everything but apparently she did. She looked up at me and took her sweet little hand to my face, wiped my tears away, said, "it ok mommy,' and then gave me a kiss! Sometimes that little girl amazes me so much I can hardly believe I am her mother! Do I still feel bad for having a cranky mom day? A little, but mostly I am so thankful for Melody and what a perfect example she is to me of what forgiveness is all about! It should really be that simple to forgive others, but as adults we tend to harbor our hurt feelings and carry them around with us creating heavy burdens. We would be so much happier if we could just learn to let go and truly forgive.